The Taiwanese version of the Serenity Prayer

I have days in Taiwan, where I think I can’t adapt any longer. So, here is my serenity prayer for Taiwan….

God, grant me the serenity to accept the following things about the Taiwanese:

1) their need to make right hand turns from the far left lane at the last minute
2) their need to speed
3) taxi drivers who stop immediately in front of you
4) people who make turns without signaling
5) people who stroll(like it's sunday afternoon) down the sidewalk side by side.
6) The grandma on the train who wont stop staring
7) The kids who think I don’t understand when they hit their friend to make them see me and say ’eh there’s a foreigner’
8) Being asked if my dog understands English.
9) Being hit in the head with umbrellas on covered sidewalks
10) Need to cut in front of you, or not wait in line
11) The insight to figure out where what I want is sold…
12) Betel nut spitters
13) Greasy food.
14) Lying to your face to save their face(or arse)
15) Thinking it all right to touch your hair when you aren’t looking
16) Being told that they can’t understand you for the 5th time, even when you point to it…
17) The thought process behind their laws
18) Watching you eat a hamburger
19) Coming over to where you are in a place to stare at while you conduct business…
20) And discussing it within earshot….
21)People who drift back and forth when walking on the sidewalk....

To accept that’s not America
To have the courage to keep going
To be mindful that I choose to come here
And the wisdom to know when it's time to go home..... (or on vacation)